Skip to main content

How to Be Happy in a Relationship Part 1 (Finding the Right Person)

Relationships require a lot of work and dedication, and one would be hard-pressed to find one that didn’t include arguments and misunderstandings. However, it is still possible to build long and happy relationships with patience and dedication, even if it may seem like the love has faded.

Part 1: Finding the Right Person

1.  Get out of bad relationships immediately. A large percentage of relationships are doomed from the start, and staying in a bad relationship only wastes time. If things begin falling apart too soon, it is best to end the relationship instead of sticking around in hopes that things will change. Common signs of bad relationships include:

·     Feeling the need to change to make the other person happy. "If you edit what you say before you say it and constantly monitor how you come across because you feel like your partner is grading you, it might be time to let the relationship go.

·     Defending your significant other to friends and family. According to author and psychotherapist M. Gary Neuman, "Not everyone is going to like your boyfriend or girlfriend as much as you do. But it should worry you if there's a general consensus among family and friends that your new love is entirely wrong for you.

·     Constant criticism from your partner

·     Wondering what your partner did when he/she is away

·     Feeling worse about yourself since you began dating your partner

·     Your partner is dismissive of your feelings

2.     Develop realistic relationship expectations. Avoid placing unrealistic expectations on you and your partner such as:

· Expecting your partner to know what you want or how you feel without telling him/her. Commonly, "people want their partners to “mind read”, which can often take the form of, I don’t want to have to tell her what I want. She should already know. Expecting your feelings to override those of your partner, i.e. expecting your partner to stop pursuing their interests simply because it causes you grief.

· Getting angry at your partner for finding others attractive. The part of our brains that finds other humans sexually and romantically appealing doesn’t die off when we commit to someone.

· Convincing yourself that the relationship is doomed no matter what and that the two of you won't find happiness.

· Believing that the road to happiness does not require a lot of work

3.     See your partner for what they are, not their potential. One of the biggest relationship pitfalls is assuming that your partner knows or should know how you feel. You may become frustrated if your partner forgets special occasions or does not react how you would expect him/her to during certain situations. Instead of placing high expectations on the other person for your happiness, appreciate who they are and be surprised when they are on the same page as you instead of expecting it.

· According to blogger Melissa Dawn Lieberman: You really can't assume that your spouse knows how you feel or what you want. You don't share the same feelings, worldviews, or thoughts. You might notice the dishes in the sink or remember that the kids haven't done their homework yet, but he might not. When in doubt, say it out loud.

4.     Appreciate your partner, but do not spoil him/her. When you love someone, it is easy to do anything in your power to make him/her stay, even if it means breaking your own principles. Do not lose yourself trying to make the other person happy. If something impresses you, let your partner know; If something angers you, address it in a constructive manner. Loving another should not undermine who you are.

5.     Find someone with similar ideals. Partners do not have to have an identical view of the world, but sharing opinions on important global topics can make for a better match. This holds especially true when dealing with gender issues such as feminism.

 

Comments

Post a Comment

Please type your comment below

Popular posts from this blog

A Woman In Her 30s Alights From Cab, Jumps Into Lagos Lagoon

  A woman said to be in her thirties has decided to end it all by jumping into the lagoon on Third Mainland Bridge, Lagos State. We confirmed that the woman had disembarked from a cab and headed towards the railing of the bridge. She was said to have consequently plunged into the water. The Permanent Secretary, Lagos State Emergency Management Agency, Dr Olufemi Oke-Osanyintolu, in a situation report said a search and rescue team had been mobilised to look for the woman. He said, “Upon arrival of the LRT at the incident scene, investigation revealed that a lady in her late thirties (30s) plunged into the Lagos lagoon. “Further investigation revealed that the lady alighted from a Uber taxi car on the bridge and plunged into the lagoon.” The LASEMA boss said the cab driver claimed the woman was having a heated conversation with her fiance before alighting from the vehicle. “The LRT men of Lagos State Fire and Rescue Service, LASWA and officials of the Department of State Service (DSS...
Post a Comment
Read more

What I told Sunday Igboho –Tunde Bakare

 Herdsmen crisis: What I told Sunday Igboho –Tunde Bakare “Immediately, Sunday Igboho gave that ultimatum, I knew there was trouble if nothing was done immediately. And he carried out what he said he would carry out. “What did I do? As an individual, I found a way of reaching out to him (Igboho). I have never met him before, never spoken to him before but I reached out to him and after a while, he called me and I said, I appeal to you by the mercies of God, two wrongs cannot make a right, you have proved your point, let us find alternative solution so that there would be no bloodbath. “He promised to come and see me in Lagos and I had made preparations for him to come but unfortunately, his father took ill and he had to take him to the hospital. “I followed also to ensure I prayed for the father. I told him, I am not saying you are right or you are wrong, that is not the issue but please, if you carry out this threat, it would lead to something bigger than you and you do not want t...
Post a Comment
Read more

The Brief History of Sunday Igboho

The Brief History of Igboho Igboho occupies a key place in the history of the old Oyo Empire. Whilst Oyo is an integral part in the history of Yoruba, Igboho’s contribution to the sustainability of Oyo Empire can neither be erased nor expunged. The origin of Igboho started with the migration of Gbage from Ilesha. There was a chieftaincy tussle then, where the younger brother of Gbage was installed as the Owa. The (aggrieved elder) brother left the kingdom to give peace a chance. That senior brother that left the palace of Owa was called Gbage Olabinukuro and founded his own village called Ebiti. All his supporters, including hunters, followed him to this new abode. At that period in Yoruba history, there was Fulani invasion of old Oyo Empire. Alaafin Ofinran and his people were forced to vacate their home. When Alaafin got to Ebiti, he met Gbage who had migrated from Ilesha. Alaafin Ofinran saw that Gbage was a powerful man who had a lot of charms and was very formidable in the act of ...
Post a Comment
Read more